Some of you will wonder why im posting this and i suppose i could say because i want to help someone else, but i would be lying. I do want to one day be able to look back in hopes that this changed the outlook for another but it's mainly because i need people to stand beside me in this journey. No this wont be easy to say but it's me and it's my life. So please dont judge....
I dont know about you but I love food!! Any kind: Spaghetti, tacos, chinese, burgers, fries, chocolate, cheese cake, Pizza, chips, you name it i will probably fight you for it. I can't get enough....i eat when im tired, bored, lonely, emotional, and sometimes i even eat for the right reason, because im hungry. How horrible you say.... I know...and scary.
Scary because this time two years ago i was obsessed. Not in a healthy way at all, in a desperate need to lose every calorie, or pound that went into my body. No matter what the cost. And I do mean no matter what. It started when I got engaged. I knew i wanted to be beautiful for my future mate and to me beautiful was defined by the number on the scale. Was ONLY defined by the number on the scale. I started counting calories and began to see a difference and that was good enough for awhile. Until it wasn't any more. I was introduced to what starving yourself could do to your body and instead of seeing the hurting person behind it all I saw was a way to take my weight loss to a deeper level. I was obsessed with looking at myself in a mirror and sucking in until you could see my ribs. Instead of filling my plate i would take a tiny spoonful of salad and green beans and only eat half. If i ate more than 800 calories i would hate myself and tell myself i was a failure. If I didnt lie in bed at night and feel hunger pains i had failed that day. And still the number wouldnt move, and I became desperate. My out was eating a meal and then using the excuse that i was gonna shower and go to bed.....because you can purge an entire meal with the shower running and no one would ever know. I was desperate.
And then in my eyes I had done it. The day I said my vows I weighed in at my life time goal of 140 pounds. I had succeeded. I was beautiful.
Or so I thought....
I realize today that no matter what number the scale says it will never define my beauty, no matter what size of jeans i have to squeeze into it wont change my heart. And as wonderful as all of that sounds and what a breakthrough it takes to get here it isn't enough.
Since Grant and I have gotten married those pounds have found their way back home....and it seems...angrier than ever that i once tried to rid my body of them. So here i sit weighing in at 185 once again, and as embarrassing as it is to say that I say it because i have to. I can't allow that number to define me. I look in the mirror some days and I dont see that "fat" girl, i see a desperate girl who wants to do it the right way. But can't find the motivation to get on the treadmill, to not eat another piece, to not sneak another slice.
And my heart has been suffering for it all. Yes my physical heart im sure but im talking even deeper than that. This journey to find my "beauty" has severely severed my relationship with my Heavenly Father. It has been an up hill battle and one that i have been losing. I don't see that i am fearfully and wonderfully made, I see someone that has a huge flaw....God made a mistake.
Weight wise and heart wise, it is impossible to be right with your Father when some days you look at yourself and all you see is a mistake.
So this is my journey..... stepping back to my Daddy who has never made a mistake, ever. And to working on this the right way. To being healthy if and when little unexpected things happen and realizing healthy isn't a number on the scale but my thought process. And that is what is so tattered in this moment, my thought process. To never obsessing but to always finding motivation to give just a little more, or to saying no. To reaching out and realizing that though i may have a million people cheering me on the only hand I want to hold at the finish is my Daddy's. His love endures and this is a journey that I know will test my faith and will power and quite frankly both of those are on shaky foundations...but they do have a foundation. A Godly foundation and I wont give up.
So im asking for cheerleaders, whether that means you cheer me on or you just read my blog to see how im doing but more than either of those Im asking for those of you who will pray for me, when you pass a mirror, or a scale, may you think of me and send up a prayer to our Daddy. I know I can do this.....but i fear resorting to the easy obsessed way. To giving in to the moments where the screaming in my head to just not eat, or to rid my body of what i just ate is louder than the still small voice within. To binge eating just to make myself feel better about something that should have been taken to the Lord in prayer. To loving the feeling of being hungry and the satisfaction and victory that comes in that moment. That isn't an option this time around and I want to remember that. I started by sharing my weight as of today and I will occasionally share what it is but im not sure how often that will be. I dont want this journey to be defined by what the scale says but by the changes within, starting with my relationship with my Father. So here's to taking another journey with this Princess Bride who is loved unconditionally by her Heavenly Daddy. Im sure many updates with struggles, successes and failures will ensue but I know through it all I will never be alone. Thankful for you guys who follow my ramblings and earnestly pray for me. :) And blessed to have the most amazing man who encourages me through it all and never ceases to challenge me.
Here's to my journey back to a healthy way of life....starting with my always growing relationship with my Heavenly Father and ending with a renewed mind, spirit, and body :)
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Confessions of a can't get turned back around snowflake noticing bride.....
Where do I begin. Im tired, more than tired......im exhausted. It has been more than two months since I have last written and a lot has changed since then.....or maybe nothing has, i can't remember any more.
Im working two jobs and the new place is one of the hardest jobs i have ever had. But im enjoying it, most days. Then there are days like today when I just want to tell people i dont care, and there is no reason for their terrible attitude just because they can't have it their way. Im not perfect, im gonna make mistakes so back off. Why do people have to be so rude and mean anyway?
I have bitten off way to much, and now im choking down the pieces. When will I ever learn? I need a break, Im ready to go home and see my family. More than anything my time here has grown significantly lonely in the last couple of months. People are in bed when i leave in the morning and ready for bed when i get home most evenings. And if i have a spare half a day off all i want to do is relax at home and just enjoy the time i have.
I keep telling myself just three more weeks and this will all be over..... :) Something to look forward to. Im a look forward to something kind of gal. I need that. It soothes my soul, reminds me the storm wont last forever, that my Anchor is still holding.
Im afraid my Anchor is holding and the line has continued to go out and I can't seem to find where to meet it again. You know that moment when you realize you have lost something, and there is that tiny twinge of panic because you cant remember where you left it to save your life. I feel that twinge of panic daily because as hard as im trying to reach the place i walked away i can't seem to find it and im only going in circles.
How pathetic, how sad you say.......i know. How do you get so far from home and sometimes you even realize your going the wrong way and yet you feel as though you can't turn yourself around.
I think im there, in the can't get turned back around part.
No im not into anything outwardly that would make you gasp with your hand covering your mouth, but it's a heart thing. I know it, I miss my Daddy. He never moved but I can't seem to find Him. I haven't lost my way im just sorta stuck ya know.
But you know what's so amazingly incredible.....He's waiting for me. Ya know how i know....
a snowflake landed on my windshield the other day
And then there was another one, and another one, and before I knew it there were a bagillion little snowflakes covering my window.....and a single tear had formed and found it's way down from my tired eyes. They were all different. Not a single one was the same as those that had fallen before it. Every design was as intricate as though it's creator had spent countless hours perfecting it. And in that moment I looked around and realized the piles of snow were filled with tiny little snow flakes each one more precious and different than the one before it. Thats how I know He hasn't given up. Im different, im intricate, im special. And my Daddy has spent countless hours perfecting who I am to Him. Im His daughter, His baby, the one He gave everything for, the one He gave HIS life for.
He loves me, He misses me.
So please pray for me.....cause I miss Him too. I miss feeling as though He's holding my heart. Pray I would let go and allow my self to get turned back around and to take those steps back to Him, or to allow Him to pull me back to His safe harbor.
Isn't my Daddy amazing!!!
When was the last time you took a moment to realize how different and intricate you really are. It trully is a beautiful thing my precious friend. To think there are more than a billion people on this earth and each one is different and unique. Crazy huh?
And people wonder why I love the snow soo much, now I have an even better answer.....it's drawing me back home where i belong :)
Im working two jobs and the new place is one of the hardest jobs i have ever had. But im enjoying it, most days. Then there are days like today when I just want to tell people i dont care, and there is no reason for their terrible attitude just because they can't have it their way. Im not perfect, im gonna make mistakes so back off. Why do people have to be so rude and mean anyway?
I have bitten off way to much, and now im choking down the pieces. When will I ever learn? I need a break, Im ready to go home and see my family. More than anything my time here has grown significantly lonely in the last couple of months. People are in bed when i leave in the morning and ready for bed when i get home most evenings. And if i have a spare half a day off all i want to do is relax at home and just enjoy the time i have.
I keep telling myself just three more weeks and this will all be over..... :) Something to look forward to. Im a look forward to something kind of gal. I need that. It soothes my soul, reminds me the storm wont last forever, that my Anchor is still holding.
Im afraid my Anchor is holding and the line has continued to go out and I can't seem to find where to meet it again. You know that moment when you realize you have lost something, and there is that tiny twinge of panic because you cant remember where you left it to save your life. I feel that twinge of panic daily because as hard as im trying to reach the place i walked away i can't seem to find it and im only going in circles.
How pathetic, how sad you say.......i know. How do you get so far from home and sometimes you even realize your going the wrong way and yet you feel as though you can't turn yourself around.
I think im there, in the can't get turned back around part.
No im not into anything outwardly that would make you gasp with your hand covering your mouth, but it's a heart thing. I know it, I miss my Daddy. He never moved but I can't seem to find Him. I haven't lost my way im just sorta stuck ya know.
But you know what's so amazingly incredible.....He's waiting for me. Ya know how i know....
a snowflake landed on my windshield the other day
And then there was another one, and another one, and before I knew it there were a bagillion little snowflakes covering my window.....and a single tear had formed and found it's way down from my tired eyes. They were all different. Not a single one was the same as those that had fallen before it. Every design was as intricate as though it's creator had spent countless hours perfecting it. And in that moment I looked around and realized the piles of snow were filled with tiny little snow flakes each one more precious and different than the one before it. Thats how I know He hasn't given up. Im different, im intricate, im special. And my Daddy has spent countless hours perfecting who I am to Him. Im His daughter, His baby, the one He gave everything for, the one He gave HIS life for.
He loves me, He misses me.
So please pray for me.....cause I miss Him too. I miss feeling as though He's holding my heart. Pray I would let go and allow my self to get turned back around and to take those steps back to Him, or to allow Him to pull me back to His safe harbor.
Isn't my Daddy amazing!!!
When was the last time you took a moment to realize how different and intricate you really are. It trully is a beautiful thing my precious friend. To think there are more than a billion people on this earth and each one is different and unique. Crazy huh?
And people wonder why I love the snow soo much, now I have an even better answer.....it's drawing me back home where i belong :)
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Confessions of a powdery cake mix loving Bride :)
it's somewhat amazing that life can feel so different and yet the same all in the same moment.
Things are changing yet they never seem to change until the moment your wake up and it begins to dawn on you....how in the world did i get here....wait, where is here?
That's how I feel somedays. Here in good ole Bemidji nothing ever seems to change yet daily things are evolving and bringing new struggles, victories, and wonderful memories. How in the world do you take it all in?
Grant has been in classes for a month now, and it has gotten a lot better. It was really hard at first realizing he was getting to be a part of something I wasn't. It was this insanely lonely feeling and I cried. Surprise :) Im pretty much over that now that i see his massive box of Hebrew vocabulary cards, and books I can't even pronounce littering our tiny coffee table, and not to mention the cup after cup of coffee slowly replacing his flow of blood with a caffeine pumping insomnia. He's loving it. The Lord has already been working in his heart this year and I love hearing his new discoveries as our Daddy reveals something new to him. It's rather insightful being in love with a college hunny!
Other than my eventful run in with the ER nothing new seems to be changing for me. Thus my entry for the day. Have you ever wanted something so much and it seems it's always out of your grasp. I mean really, that one tiny thing that no matter how hard you push just keeps skipping that centimeter to far. Sometimes I feel that way. My best friend moved to Hungary for a year, and i must admit i was highly jealous, not in a bad way more of an Im-so-excited-our-Daddy-is-doing-something-so-incredible-in-your-life way. And than i began thinking....what is the Lord doing in my life?
Do you ever really stop to think that....I mean mostly we just sit around on a daily basis riding the roller coaster of life with all its ups and downs and im gonna throw up moments and never stop to see the hand and heart of our Savior.
I dont ever want to be that way..... something that has been so exciting lately has been my daily time with the Lord. If you know me at all you know what a struggle it is to be in the word daily...lame i know but it's tough. I have such good intentions and then before i know it, it's midnight and i can't even keep my eyes open. A baby step for me but it feels like leaps!
Oh and another thing....Fall is coming. A plus of living up north for the time being is I get FALL!! Changing leaves, cooler weather (not im gonna die cold yet), and the smell of everything beginning to change. It has to be the most amazing thing ever stepping outside on our balcony and just looking around and seeing all that our Heavenly Father has created, and realizing that He knitted together every aspect, every tiny detail. It's an overwhelming thing.
The Lord is daily providing for us....we were finally able to pay off my Word of Life bill! I know it has been forever but we did it! Praise the Lord for His provision, now im just waiting for my diploma to prove I was there and did it!
And all of that is just the powdery cake mix....not even the good stuff (like all the chocolate parts!). Our God is so amazingly wonderful and gracious to us and more than anything He teaches us. Yeah sometimes it's hard but how rewarding when you take a moment to look back, even if it's just for that one moment your in to realize everything our Father is doing. Dont forget to take those moments, sometimes thats all you need to keep those centimeter skipping grasp escaping things from overwhelming you. And if that doesn't work....let Him know your heart, He already knows it better than you but He loves to hear you come before Him and tell Him all about it.
So tell me....what is He doing in your life?
Love and miss yall!
Heather
Things are changing yet they never seem to change until the moment your wake up and it begins to dawn on you....how in the world did i get here....wait, where is here?
That's how I feel somedays. Here in good ole Bemidji nothing ever seems to change yet daily things are evolving and bringing new struggles, victories, and wonderful memories. How in the world do you take it all in?
Grant has been in classes for a month now, and it has gotten a lot better. It was really hard at first realizing he was getting to be a part of something I wasn't. It was this insanely lonely feeling and I cried. Surprise :) Im pretty much over that now that i see his massive box of Hebrew vocabulary cards, and books I can't even pronounce littering our tiny coffee table, and not to mention the cup after cup of coffee slowly replacing his flow of blood with a caffeine pumping insomnia. He's loving it. The Lord has already been working in his heart this year and I love hearing his new discoveries as our Daddy reveals something new to him. It's rather insightful being in love with a college hunny!
Other than my eventful run in with the ER nothing new seems to be changing for me. Thus my entry for the day. Have you ever wanted something so much and it seems it's always out of your grasp. I mean really, that one tiny thing that no matter how hard you push just keeps skipping that centimeter to far. Sometimes I feel that way. My best friend moved to Hungary for a year, and i must admit i was highly jealous, not in a bad way more of an Im-so-excited-our-Daddy-is-doing-something-so-incredible-in-your-life way. And than i began thinking....what is the Lord doing in my life?
Do you ever really stop to think that....I mean mostly we just sit around on a daily basis riding the roller coaster of life with all its ups and downs and im gonna throw up moments and never stop to see the hand and heart of our Savior.
I dont ever want to be that way..... something that has been so exciting lately has been my daily time with the Lord. If you know me at all you know what a struggle it is to be in the word daily...lame i know but it's tough. I have such good intentions and then before i know it, it's midnight and i can't even keep my eyes open. A baby step for me but it feels like leaps!
Oh and another thing....Fall is coming. A plus of living up north for the time being is I get FALL!! Changing leaves, cooler weather (not im gonna die cold yet), and the smell of everything beginning to change. It has to be the most amazing thing ever stepping outside on our balcony and just looking around and seeing all that our Heavenly Father has created, and realizing that He knitted together every aspect, every tiny detail. It's an overwhelming thing.
The Lord is daily providing for us....we were finally able to pay off my Word of Life bill! I know it has been forever but we did it! Praise the Lord for His provision, now im just waiting for my diploma to prove I was there and did it!
And all of that is just the powdery cake mix....not even the good stuff (like all the chocolate parts!). Our God is so amazingly wonderful and gracious to us and more than anything He teaches us. Yeah sometimes it's hard but how rewarding when you take a moment to look back, even if it's just for that one moment your in to realize everything our Father is doing. Dont forget to take those moments, sometimes thats all you need to keep those centimeter skipping grasp escaping things from overwhelming you. And if that doesn't work....let Him know your heart, He already knows it better than you but He loves to hear you come before Him and tell Him all about it.
So tell me....what is He doing in your life?
Love and miss yall!
Heather
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Confessions of a silly faced Bride....
So nothing like new adventures! lol.
So as women sometimes we are pretty aware of what we look like (some a little too much) but many times that is how we define our beauty (not saying its biblical but its true).
Well these past few weeks my face has been feeling kind of different. It all started with this random sickness that wasn't quite a cold but still kind of weird. Well on our mini vacation to Tennessee I sneezed one night and all of a sudden my face got pretty itchy and kind of tender around my eye and nose. A few minutes later i noticed it was pretty puffy. Of course my first reaction was "great i broke my face!". I asked Grant if he saw it and he noticed it a little bit and we decided we would just keep an eye on it. Since then the left side of my nose and under my eye has been a little tender but i assumed i just popped something when i sneezed. We have noticed some swelling and puffiness on a few other occasions as well but thought nothing of it. Wednesday at work i scratched around my eye/nose area and it got really red and puffy.
"Great one of those super annoying under the skin pimples that the whole world can see but everyone diverts there eyes so you dont think they are staring...."(i hate those).
well in a few hours it faded and i thought man that was neat....no pimple after all.
So last night im sitting on the couch watching tv while Grant slipped into a sleep deprived coma on the floor. Well once again my nose felt itchy so common sense i started rubbing it, then i licked my lips...and then i panicked. The whole left side of my lip felt super weird, kind of like i got a numbing shot. after a few minutes of repeatedly licking my lip to make sure i wasn't losing my mind i got up and looked in the mirror. I wish i would have taken a picture. it looked like i stuck a grape under my lip, the left side of my cheek was swollen and started to feel a little numb. and it all looked a little.. well wrong. Of course i start checking to make sure i can breathe.....well im not blue so we are good there. Then there was the hunt for a rash cause i was certain that funny tasting peanut i had earlier had something to do with it....wait i eat peanuts all the time and im not dead yet and it has never made me look like a saggy faced cabbage patch before so that can't be it.
Okay insert moment of panic......MY FACE IS JACKED UP (WELL DOWN), I HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR!!
So like every reasonable wife i frantically wake Grant shaking him with no love at all "honey there is something wrong with my face....can you see it, can you see it...look at my lip, can you see it" I was scared....the love thing wasnt the first on my mind lol.
At that point i was torn between give me a benadryl and send me to bed to sleep it off and my face, my face is wrong! We called his sister Lori and shared what was happening and she immediatly recognized the symptoms of Bells Palsy (a viral infection in the muscles of your face, they dont know what causes it but if not treated the symptoms can be permanent). Not a fan of the saggy face category so Grant decided we should go and see the doctor.
Wait a second....enter no health insurance.....i hated the fact i was gonna cause us a huge bill, enter the crying emotional moment.....and Grant deciding my health was more important. And we were off.... all the while my jaw growing numb along the way. I was so afraid i was literally shaking. Amazing how in times of fear we tend to cry out to our Heavenly Father.... Lord im afraid, please calm my fears, help me to know You will provide for this, help me to not panic or cry. Praise our Daddy! He did. I was so nervous when i got there i pretty much shook the whole time (especially when they had Grant stay back to fill out paperwork while i had to go to the scary daunting hospital room with the tiny bed and all those intimidating ear looker inners, and big over head lights....do they know anything about comforting people who are nervous).....anyway when Grant arrived the Dr was right behind him, i retold my sneezing, numb face story for the third time and yep Bell's palsey it is. Let's steal my blood, and never give it back and here are your pills and have a great night! And we were headed home with my first dose of meds and an almost normal face structure. Pretty much back to normal now, You can only tell if you know what your looking for and happen to spend a lot of time memorizing my normal lip structure. they say it can take up to a couple weeks but since i had such a small case it may not even take that long.
So that was my silly faced adventure! Another blessing without insurance just one of my meds (the one i had to have )would have cost up to $100 at most of the pharmacies in town and the Lord blessed us with a place that only charged $30 for both! Our God is soo faithful!
So our first trip to the ER as a couple was survived! And an even deeper love for my Heavenly Father for being my comfort, and my hubby for loving his swollen faced bride and asking a hundred times if im feeling okay....He loves me....i know!! Im so blessed but i think i could go without that much excitement for a little while lol.
Fun huh? :) and i learned a few valuable lessons along the way....including our Daddy works in wonderful ways to teach us He is faithful sometimes. and oh how I LOVE the fact that my Savior is Faithful and holds my hand when im fearful. What a great God!!
Your Heavenbound Heather
So as women sometimes we are pretty aware of what we look like (some a little too much) but many times that is how we define our beauty (not saying its biblical but its true).
Well these past few weeks my face has been feeling kind of different. It all started with this random sickness that wasn't quite a cold but still kind of weird. Well on our mini vacation to Tennessee I sneezed one night and all of a sudden my face got pretty itchy and kind of tender around my eye and nose. A few minutes later i noticed it was pretty puffy. Of course my first reaction was "great i broke my face!". I asked Grant if he saw it and he noticed it a little bit and we decided we would just keep an eye on it. Since then the left side of my nose and under my eye has been a little tender but i assumed i just popped something when i sneezed. We have noticed some swelling and puffiness on a few other occasions as well but thought nothing of it. Wednesday at work i scratched around my eye/nose area and it got really red and puffy.
"Great one of those super annoying under the skin pimples that the whole world can see but everyone diverts there eyes so you dont think they are staring...."(i hate those).
well in a few hours it faded and i thought man that was neat....no pimple after all.
So last night im sitting on the couch watching tv while Grant slipped into a sleep deprived coma on the floor. Well once again my nose felt itchy so common sense i started rubbing it, then i licked my lips...and then i panicked. The whole left side of my lip felt super weird, kind of like i got a numbing shot. after a few minutes of repeatedly licking my lip to make sure i wasn't losing my mind i got up and looked in the mirror. I wish i would have taken a picture. it looked like i stuck a grape under my lip, the left side of my cheek was swollen and started to feel a little numb. and it all looked a little.. well wrong. Of course i start checking to make sure i can breathe.....well im not blue so we are good there. Then there was the hunt for a rash cause i was certain that funny tasting peanut i had earlier had something to do with it....wait i eat peanuts all the time and im not dead yet and it has never made me look like a saggy faced cabbage patch before so that can't be it.
Okay insert moment of panic......MY FACE IS JACKED UP (WELL DOWN), I HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR!!
So like every reasonable wife i frantically wake Grant shaking him with no love at all "honey there is something wrong with my face....can you see it, can you see it...look at my lip, can you see it" I was scared....the love thing wasnt the first on my mind lol.
At that point i was torn between give me a benadryl and send me to bed to sleep it off and my face, my face is wrong! We called his sister Lori and shared what was happening and she immediatly recognized the symptoms of Bells Palsy (a viral infection in the muscles of your face, they dont know what causes it but if not treated the symptoms can be permanent). Not a fan of the saggy face category so Grant decided we should go and see the doctor.
Wait a second....enter no health insurance.....i hated the fact i was gonna cause us a huge bill, enter the crying emotional moment.....and Grant deciding my health was more important. And we were off.... all the while my jaw growing numb along the way. I was so afraid i was literally shaking. Amazing how in times of fear we tend to cry out to our Heavenly Father.... Lord im afraid, please calm my fears, help me to know You will provide for this, help me to not panic or cry. Praise our Daddy! He did. I was so nervous when i got there i pretty much shook the whole time (especially when they had Grant stay back to fill out paperwork while i had to go to the scary daunting hospital room with the tiny bed and all those intimidating ear looker inners, and big over head lights....do they know anything about comforting people who are nervous).....anyway when Grant arrived the Dr was right behind him, i retold my sneezing, numb face story for the third time and yep Bell's palsey it is. Let's steal my blood, and never give it back and here are your pills and have a great night! And we were headed home with my first dose of meds and an almost normal face structure. Pretty much back to normal now, You can only tell if you know what your looking for and happen to spend a lot of time memorizing my normal lip structure. they say it can take up to a couple weeks but since i had such a small case it may not even take that long.
So that was my silly faced adventure! Another blessing without insurance just one of my meds (the one i had to have )would have cost up to $100 at most of the pharmacies in town and the Lord blessed us with a place that only charged $30 for both! Our God is soo faithful!
So our first trip to the ER as a couple was survived! And an even deeper love for my Heavenly Father for being my comfort, and my hubby for loving his swollen faced bride and asking a hundred times if im feeling okay....He loves me....i know!! Im so blessed but i think i could go without that much excitement for a little while lol.
Fun huh? :) and i learned a few valuable lessons along the way....including our Daddy works in wonderful ways to teach us He is faithful sometimes. and oh how I LOVE the fact that my Savior is Faithful and holds my hand when im fearful. What a great God!!
Your Heavenbound Heather
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Confessions of a blogging bride....
Soo...blogging....
What in the world do i have to say that is interesting enough to blog about, and after it took me three hours to try and figure out how this thing works why would i ever go through the trouble to do it? Cause it's gonna be FUN!!
Im a Heavenbound Bride who lives in Northern Minnesota, I can count the amount of heart warming friends I have met here on one hand, I freeze 9 months out of the year and random days in between, I have been married for a year and 5 months, im emotional, i love food, im pretty sure im crazy, and i have a husband who loves me in spite of that and a Heavenly Father who just thinks im wonderful even though I daily disappoint and fail Him.
How is writing about any of that not fun! oh and sometimes i just need to vent and be encouraged. Thus here is my blog! :) Full of run on sentences and exclamation points where they dont belong cause i think they are the greatest invention ever, poor grammar and spelling, lots of tears, and girl time to challenge and encourage all of us (okay those who decide to read my ramblings lol)
I love life but sometimes it's hard and well my life for the past year has been nothing but one great big adventure and Praise the Lord im still hanging on by this never letting go thread. In fact im pretty sure im so tangled up that i couldnt let go even if i wanted, and trust me there are days I want to do just that.
And mostly my blog is about my life as a Princess bride...a daughter of the King of Kings and the help meet to the love of my life Grant. The crazy ups and downs of life as a bride in general, my failures and victories with my Heavenly Father, the lessons im learning and daily being taught and those i can't seem to get through my thick head, and... my heart.....(its therapeutic this blogging thing, or so ive heard)
So im off on this journey, trying to be faithful and to keep yall laughing with my silly wifey moments that make you just sit back and say... really? lol and those moments that Lord willing will draw us closer to the Lover of our souls, the One who desires the inner most intimate moments we hold so dear and times that can only be described as God moments.
I pray this journey is as fun for you as im hoping it will be for me :)
Your Heavenbound Princess
Heather
What in the world do i have to say that is interesting enough to blog about, and after it took me three hours to try and figure out how this thing works why would i ever go through the trouble to do it? Cause it's gonna be FUN!!
Im a Heavenbound Bride who lives in Northern Minnesota, I can count the amount of heart warming friends I have met here on one hand, I freeze 9 months out of the year and random days in between, I have been married for a year and 5 months, im emotional, i love food, im pretty sure im crazy, and i have a husband who loves me in spite of that and a Heavenly Father who just thinks im wonderful even though I daily disappoint and fail Him.
How is writing about any of that not fun! oh and sometimes i just need to vent and be encouraged. Thus here is my blog! :) Full of run on sentences and exclamation points where they dont belong cause i think they are the greatest invention ever, poor grammar and spelling, lots of tears, and girl time to challenge and encourage all of us (okay those who decide to read my ramblings lol)
I love life but sometimes it's hard and well my life for the past year has been nothing but one great big adventure and Praise the Lord im still hanging on by this never letting go thread. In fact im pretty sure im so tangled up that i couldnt let go even if i wanted, and trust me there are days I want to do just that.
And mostly my blog is about my life as a Princess bride...a daughter of the King of Kings and the help meet to the love of my life Grant. The crazy ups and downs of life as a bride in general, my failures and victories with my Heavenly Father, the lessons im learning and daily being taught and those i can't seem to get through my thick head, and... my heart.....(its therapeutic this blogging thing, or so ive heard)
So im off on this journey, trying to be faithful and to keep yall laughing with my silly wifey moments that make you just sit back and say... really? lol and those moments that Lord willing will draw us closer to the Lover of our souls, the One who desires the inner most intimate moments we hold so dear and times that can only be described as God moments.
I pray this journey is as fun for you as im hoping it will be for me :)
Your Heavenbound Princess
Heather
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