As you lay back on the table waiting for the unexpected moment everything will change you hear it....whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh and all of a sudden the only thing that matters is that tiny little life growing within.
I got to experience that moment July 8, and i wouldn't change it for anything in this world. I am so blessed to have such an incredible husband who loves our Heavenly Father with all of his heart, mind, and soul and who is just as excited as I am to be on this journey together.
We are expecting our first little bundle of amazing blessedness on Feb. 13! Our little love bug :)!
I titled this blog Expecting bride because that is where im at. I have so many expectations that i feel as though im supposed to have met before the Lord would bless me with a little human to teach, and nurture, and shape after Him. I still have so much to learn and I feel as though im still a child myself. How stinking scary. Why is it that there are so many Godly women that have come before us that seldom sit us down and share with us the responsibility of being not only a Godly wife but at this moment in time a Godly mother.
How many of us sit around in those months before this tiny one joins our life agonizing over what im supposed to do or buy, or what if i drop them, or leave them in the car, or just plain have no clue what im doing. I can honestly say all of those thoughts have crossed my mind but more than any of those the one resounding question "Lord how do I show him You? "Lord what if I fail?"
Okay so that's two questions really but the bottom line is, I want our little man to love our Heavenly Father and realize just how amazing our God truly is. How do I show him that through my life? Im just his mommy, im nothing special and i mess up every single day. I fail, i say things i shouldn't, i lose my temper, and i wish that i could just plain go back and fix it sometimes.... but i can't, life doesn't work that way.
And maybe he needs to see that im not perfect, that im gonna let him down, and hurt him, and of course it will break my heart but maybe that's the perfect moment to share with him that there is One who will never let him down.
Changing gears just for a moment, i had a friend who recently blogged about the surprise she has found regarding the burden of children in the eyes of the world. I never really thought about it until recently and i see the reason for her surprise. We are at a point now that I have begun to experience some of the not so pleasant things of pregnancy: back aches, sleeplessness, and round ligament pain, but that also means we have begun to experience the awesomeness of our little one bouncing around, and he is very active! I have mentioned some of those not so pleasant moments and also some of those very pleasant moments and have been surprised to some responses "oh just wait until he's here and you don't get any sleep", "your gonna have one of those" speaking of a crying baby in the store, "do you know how expensive babies are". when did having a baby become such a burden? As far as im concerned its a blessing and a privilege. It's what the Lord called me to be and im so excited to see what new ways the Father is going to teach me. Yes it will be hard and scary and down right exhausting but I get to be part of shaping this little person for the Lord to use one day. How is that not rewarding enough?
Yes babies are expensive but the Lord has always provided and yes the thought has crossed my mind plenty of times but He has never ever let us go without. Of course im going to have a crying and upset baby some days but it's so much better than hearing people who grouch at me because they have no patience. Yes im going to be awake at night, and yes i will be tired but who are you to tell me just how horrible it is. That's a moment i get to spend with my breathing, healthy little man. To hold him for one more moment before he's to "cool" to share mommy's lap, to breathe in that clean diaper smell before he starts wearing cologne to impress the girls, to hold his hand before another lady steals his heart. How precious those late nights will be! Call me crazy but those are the moments im looking forward to the most. Uninterrupted moments to let my little one know his mommy loves him. Those days other's complain about, I want the Lord to use to shape me and show me how to teach and grow my newest man.
I dont see this new little life as a burden but as the greatest blessing!
I know it will be hard but I also know im not doing this alone. I have a Heavenly Father who has given this little one to us to care for, for as short or as long as He sees fit, I have the Godliest husband a woman could ever pray for who loves me in spite of myself, and I am surrounded by the most amazing group of people who love us and always challenge and encourage us. Im so overly BLESSED!
And for those who are already so blessed to be called "mommy"......take a moment to enjoy your little one or ones! Forget about those dishes that will still be there, ignore the load of laundry they would rather be naked anyway, laugh when they spilled their spaghetti they just learned about gravity, enjoy the small moments that make their day even though they seem to frazzle yours. Im sure it's hard, and if you know me at all you know i will need to be reminded of these things when im having a hard time because my house isn't orderly but I think sometimes we get so wrapped up in trying to make our little ones grow up and be "adult like" because that's what society says that we wonder when we wake up one day and they really are all grown up and how did that happen. Let them be a kid and enjoy it with them, take pleasure in the fact that our Daddy has entrusted this tiny soul to you to mold and teach them about our Great Savior. It flies quickly! Just asking my bulging belly :)
